This was a pleasant day when I spoke English, but the rest of it was vastly painful. The blood that was trickling out of my leg could've easily been my tears trickling into the bottle of tears that God holds. My attitude was hard to keep calm and peaceful when I was in the room- seemingly incompetent, and when I sat on a chair, cleaning wounds with Mama Shirley- and wondering why the one time I slipped at being safe, I got hurt.
That one seems easy enough to understand with open eyes though- God was telling me to continue to be safe and also to keep His eyes on and His perspective even when it seems impossible to understand the language. Which is a harder one to do in the situation.
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Today, God showed me himself in so many ways, the day before school- i chilled out watching TV with the girls, because of my foot, and then we went to church. God first showed me himself in a movie called Wild Child, where she went to a boarding school where she didn't know anyone, and got along really well- so it was real encouragement from God, because He can speak through anything : ) then we went to church at 5pm, and God showed himself there through encouragement through Mama's interpretation of the sermon. He encouraged me to keep my faith solid, and be His hands and feet, being kind to the people that I don't even know. He reminded me that I'm here for His purposes and that I only need to live in His spirit to be allright tomorrow.
And I know He's already gone ahead of me, so I'm ready for something amazing.
Furthermore, we went to see our cousin's new baby, and through that baby's silence in my arms, God spoken only a few words that rocked everything throughout the day to a climax. "Be still and know that I am God". The baby, Syndey, was sleeping- and was so innocent and pure that she was completely God's still. She was doing exactly what He wanted her too, and was beautiful- and you could see God relfected perfectly in her face because she was doing just what God had called her to do for that moment. Through her silence, You could see how God was so complete in her.
And that is all I have to do- i don't know how it's going to go, and when my mind starts thinking without God in the center of the thoughts, I start to get really freaked out and scared that I won't have anyone to sit with at lunch and they will laugh at me so much.
But with God, there is a peace, there is a knowledge that I can cry from being scared and to let it out- but that cry is not void, and is taken to God, and He is overseeing everything. And with Him in the center of my tears- He will see me through, Because He is why I'm here, and He is why I am taking so many risks, that without God- seem even risky for me.
Thank God that He is here with me. I could never do this on my own with such a peace that He's already given me and will continue to provide me with.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Isaiah 46:10
School will go exactly as He planned it, and I'm with Him on whatever happens.
Please be praying, fervently, more than you have been, for this short time of school beginning- I will really need it as support.
Thank you